Fatal end to a clean start

Benign will never describe April for Marnie. The twin spectres of drug use and depression will forever leave a pall over the month for her.

Her fiancee was one of five people she knew who overdosed or took their own lives in April this year. All of them, four men and one woman, were from Frankston.

"It seems to be the males that are dropping off like flies," said Marnie, who asked that her real name be withheld.

It is clear Marnie is still struggling to make sense of the events since she found Paul outside their Frankston home, slumped near the clothesline in what she took to be a practical joke.

"Everything was fine. We were at home, he cooked me dinner, we put the washing on - all the normal things. He went out to hang up the washing and I fell asleep on the couch.

"The last thing I remember was him rubbing me on the shoulder and he put a jacket over me to keep me warm.

"I actually found him in the morning. He didn't appear to be passed away. He was a prankster and I thought he was playing a joke on me. And then I started to get scared."

Marnie performed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation for 10 minutes before the ambulance crew arrived and told her that her fiancee was dead.

It was the cruellest timing for Marnie and Paul, both 28. The couple were planning to marry next year and were excited at the prospect that she may be pregnant.

Marnie felt it was a new beginning; they had had their share of difficulties: "Paul had got all his issues under control and things were looking up for us."

A former heroin user, Paul was conscientiously following a methadone program to stay clean and had consulted a doctor for treatment for anxiety.

"He had never seen this doctor before, but he just gave Paul a prescription for [an anti-anxiety drug] and wrote out repeats," Marnie said.

She believes Paul accidentally overdosed on the pills. "There is a stigma attached to people who overdose. People think they must be these worthless criminals, but it can happen in so many ways - it may just be taking a prescription from the doctor. People might think they're fine, but they're not."

Last week, Marnie was one of about 30 people who attended a memorial service in Frankston to mark Overdose Awareness Day.

The service was arranged by SHARPS, the Southern HIV/HEP Resource and Prevention Service, a Frankston community health service and needle exchange program.

Melissa Virtue of SHARPS said the day was a chance to put aside preconceptions and remember those who had died of overdose.

For Marnie, SHARPS has been a lifeline in a time of grief and confusion.

"It's a hard day today, bringing back a lot of stuff that is still so raw," she said.

"But life has to go on - you have to live with the hand you are dealt."

SHARPS can be contacted on 9781 1622.